Some times I get all excited about the idea of getting a new car. And it seems like the list of must-have options for me grows every day. I gotta have GPS navigation, Xenon headlights, keyless start… the list goes on. But when I was just a boy, all I wanted was a Pontiac Fiero.
I don’t know how anybody can watch this commercial and not want to rush to the local Pontiac dealership and 1986. One of the first things that caught my attention (besides the ruggedly handsome driver) is the lack of fine print “professional driver on closed course, do not attempt.” What a simpler time.
Jax celebrated what-we-are-calling his birthday this past weekend. It was the one year anniversary of his adoption so we had to throw a party. All his friends and new friends were there: Maverick, Cola, Gracie, Schmax, Atticus, and Circe. The party was pretty tame. Nobody got out of control. And Welch’s dog, Maverick, made it quite clear that this was a private party and none of the other dogs at the park were allowed near us. It was a lot of fun!
This past weekend I test drove the 2009 Nissan Maxima and I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the car for me. The Maxima receives the highly coveted Josh’s World Seal of Approval, an honor reserved for only the best of the best. Now, time to start saving.
I saw The Incredible Hulk last week. Since the internet was made so people could complain about stuff, here I go. This movie was no good. If the love story between Edward Norton and Liv Tyler doesn’t bore you to sleep, the predicable ending will. Spoiler alert! The movie ends with a battle royale and the good guy wins.
Any time I hate a movie, I just assume that I am not the demographic they were trying to capture. I consider myself part of the 30-year-old-male-that-hates-almost-every-movie group. We are a tough market to crack.
Sidebar: Every time the Hulk appeared, I kept thinking about how he looked like Dan from One Tree Hill. That really isn’t a complaint, just a distraction.
The Incredible Hulk receives a low score on a soon-to-be-developed Josh’s World scale of ratings.
This past week marked a historical move for Keely and myself. Keely has officially left her “real job” and joined the Site Revision, Inc. team. She is going to be in charge of managing the e-commerce site and “keeping the books” for the companies, whatever that means (accounting was never my strong suit). Keely is great at all the tasks for which I have no patience. If the first week is any indication, we will be able to handle it fine. We had been considering this decision for quite some time and finally pulled the trigger last week. This is a big move for us and we are both hoping this will help us grow the business.
Over the Memorial Day weekend, I travelled to Arkansas with some of my Coppell friends. This trip was a replacement for our Llano trip that was unceremoniously cancelled. The trip was a lot of fun, but to say it was a replacement for Llano is like comparing apples to oranges… or… it’s like when your pet turtle dies when you’re out of town and when you come back you know somebody replaced it with a new turtle so you wouldn’t feel bad but you are just happy because you got to see some friends you don’t get to see very often… sorry, my analogy got away from me there. Anyway- I just wanted to share some highlights from the trip in bulleted fashion.
Ashley invented the first “French Dog” by suggesting we put French onion dip on the hot dogs (since we forgot the condiments).
My precious glasses were sacrificed to the Buffalo River when our canoe tipped over. They will be missed.
Don’t put three people in a canoe
Stoners love canoeing
Ashley’s Jetta TDI gets awesome gas mileage
Imodium AD can help restore balance to your digestive system
It’s creepy for two guys to talk about their friendship ad nauseum
Andi’s husband is real… and he likes his music loud
If I left anything off, feel free to add it to the comments.
I’m done. The organic scene is not for me. I’ve gone about 30 years eating non-organic foods and I haven’t had a single problem. Recently, I saw that organic lettuce was only 20 cents more than regular so I decided to be socialably responsible and purchase my lettuce from a lettuce farm that treats lettuce with dignity without those nasty pesticides. I’m such a great person. Well- that little guy above almost made it into my turkey wrap today.
I never realized how much I missed that yummy pesticide flavor.
Hello friends. I just want to let everybody know that the entire staff here at Josh’s World (me) is always striving to make the internet a better place to waste time. So in an effort to make my site more interactive, I’ve added comment forms to more sections of the site. Have a favorite song or voicemail? Leave a comment. Like a particular video? Leave a comment. Hate the world and want to take it out on some stranger’s website? Go here and leave a comment.
Homework assignment for all my precious readers: leave a comment! I need your feedback. Even if you are a stranger. Even if you find this post years after it was published. I am calling for a reader roll call.
Seriously, if I hear the word “green” in reference to the environment one more time, I am going to lose it! The term has reached fad status and it is driving me nuts. I consider myself a reasonably environmentally responsible person, but I am sick of being inundated with green advertising/propaganda/nonsense. Maybe it’s the rising gas prices or the recent Earth Day hoopla, but I am getting fed up. “If every person switched to fluorescent light bulbs, the world would bla bla bla…” Guess what, the “if everybody did this” scenarios are never realistic. And if we could get everybody in the world to do one thing, I can surely come up with some better ideas than changing a light bulb.
One more point while I am on my environment rant: Why are stoplights stupid? If “we’re” so worried about vehicle emissions and energy issues, why doesn’t this topic come up more? If I wasn’t stuck at a red light waiting for it to turn green when there are no other vehicles in sight, I would be using less fuel, emitting less evil C02, and keeping traffic running smoothly (along with all the other millions of drivers out there). It seems there is no problem investing in cameras to watch for folks that run the red lights, but can we not implement an intelligent system that analyzes traffic movement to keep things running practically? To me, that sounds like it would have a larger impact compared to changing a few light bulbs.
Ok, I’m done. Anybody else want to use my soapbox?
Occasionally, I am able to spit out some serious words of wisdom. This happens a lot during my day chats with Mr. Chris Brundage of [insert future website here]. I thought I would share some of these nuggets of wisdom for JoshsWorld.com visitors. So without further ado… excerpts from Josh & Chris (Part I):
Josh: i am not going to shop at old navy anymore, too many people are dressing like me
Chris: if i was an Asian businessman i would be much more successful
Josh: i have a gun, maybe i should be a lawyer
Josh: do you want to start a band? Chris: i thought you’d never ask Josh: since it was my idea, you have to buy all the instruments
Josh: you smell like interior architecture and failure
Chris: you playing mafia tonight? Josh: you know it Chris: um, this is going to sound gay, but… what are you wearing? Josh: right now, or tonight? Chris: tonight Josh: that’s the “not gay” answer
Josh: i’m no math wizard but my calculator is
Josh: now i know what cher was feeling when she sang “if i could turn back time”
Chris: HEY, we should join a bowling league! chicks love that
Josh: i wish they made little black dresses for guys Chris: that’s the gayest thing i’ve ever heard Josh: i mean i wish they didn’t
Chris: how about a unicorn Josh: with a scorpion tail? Chris: now that’s a tattoo!
Chris: i hate you Chris: that’s not true, i hate my fat self Josh: there it is
Josh: the internet is never wrong Chris: true
Josh: i just had a great idea… fundraisers! Chris: yes! i love money!
Josh: i need to go to walmart and buy some ammo in a few minutes Chris: buy me a bowling ball Josh: you got it
Josh: you’re part eskimo, right? Chris: 1/132 Chris: which means i’ve seen an eskimo
Josh: rule #4, no new members can be more attractive than founding members
Josh: we should sing that when we go caroling Josh: carolling Josh: carrolling Chris: carolyingy? Josh: carolling i think it is Chris: i think it’s carpooling Josh: that’s it!
This past week marked a historical move for Keely and myself. Keely has officially left her “real job” and joined the Site Revision, Inc. team. She is going to be in charge of managing the e-commerce site and “keeping the books” for the companies, whatever that means (accounting was never my strong suit). Keely is great at all the tasks for which I have no patience. If the first week is any indication, we will be able to handle it fine. We had been considering this decision for quite some time and finally pulled the trigger last week. This is a big move for us and we are both hoping this will help us grow the business.
