For all those loyal JoshsWorld.com fans that can’t get enough of my awesome photos, I would like to introduce you to my Tumblr account. Most of the photos come from my camera-phone (because it is easy for me to upload a photo if I see something exciting and I don’t have my real camera). But if I do have my real camera, you can still expect to see the new photos in my regular, yet awesome Photo Gallery.

I prefer information/phone calls/stories/jokes/articles etc. to be concise and to the point. My friend/colleague, Dallin, sent me an email and repeated every sentence twice in the spirit of redundancy and humor. Here was my response:

Dallin,

Thank you for sending this email to me that you sent to me. I have updated the information that was needing to be updated with the new information. I also appreciate your redundancy because I like to be redundant in the same way that you are redundant when you are being redundant about something. My methods are slightly different, even though our goal is the same despite the fact that we have different methods that work toward the same goal differently.

Thankfully Thanking You,

Joshua Josh Kryzak

I was on my way to Coppell Middle School West with my twin brother, Jeph. I had to take a six-week make-up course because there was a standardized test that I missed in 8th grade. Apparently these tests are a big deal because even though I am done with all schooling and I am 30, I still need to go back and take this course. I’m not sure why Jeph was taking the course. So my sister-in-law and her husband are driving me and my brother to the school when we gently sideswipe a Camaro from the mid-1990’s. Fortunately we are right outside the school parking lot so we can walk to the campus while the in-laws mess with all the insurance stuff. The guy in the Camaro seems really cool about things. It was kind of weird walking into the school, but the staff greeted us at the door and we started to explain why we were there. The lady that met us at the front was friendly and said two other girls were already checked in for the course. She joked and said “too bad it wasn’t a cooking class because the names of the other students were Fawn and Tina.” I tried to think of a witty comeback but nothing came to mind so I fake laughed while saying “oh really?” The lady explained to us the course would only meet on Wednesdays and it was taught by James Taylor… yes, that James Taylor. I was pretty excited, I thought “hey, I get to meet James Taylor.” Not that I am a fan by any stretch, but it will impress some people. Later I found out that he teaches the class via video and that just wasn’t as cool. Oh well, it’s only James Taylor.

…It’s at this point I woke up, it was 4:30am. Where did all this come from? How did my mind come up with all these weird details? Fawn and Tina? What the heck is that? This was one of those dreams that seemed so real yet I have no idea where these things came from. I didn’t have to get up until 5:15 so I spent the next 45 minutes thinking of that witty comeback.

Ahh 2007, we’ll miss you little buddy. I’d like to take this opportunity to list some of the best and worst of this past year. Here we go.

Best Fruit: Fuji Apple - Why did it take me 30 years to discover this thing? I’ve always been a Red Delicious man, but last year I ventured out in the produce department and boy did it pay off.

Best Dog: Jax - We got our new dog in August and we love him. I was worried that we would get a dog that has issues, but Jax is absolutely perfect! I’ve been labeled by one of my friends as “one of those people that loves their dog too much.” And I take it as a compliment.

Worst Event: The Moth in My Ear - For those of you that don’t know, a moth flew into my ear on Labor Day weekend. I went to the emergency room, but they couldn’t get it out, so they referred me to the ear, nose, and throat doctor (which was closed until the Tuesday after Labor Day). So my ear canal served as the coffin for this bug for a couple days. It was not cool. That’s the short version of that story. If you see me on the street, I’ll tell you the more comprehensive and disgusting version.

Best Restaurant Discovery: Two-way tie… Firehouse Subs and Macaroni & Cheese at The Porch.

Worst Needless Expense: Broken garage door

Best Summertime Activity: Skiing and hanging out on Mohr’s boat - Finally, that friendship is starting to pay dividends (jk buddy!)

Best New Car Purchase (within my circles): Nick’s 2007 Acura TL Type-S - I’m always wanting a newer car, I have to live vicariously through my friends.

Best New Habit: Working out regularly

Worst New Habit: Smoking… jk. Nothing comes to mind.

My Resolution for this year: Try to be better about updating my site.

Looking for holiday gift ideas for your favorite Josh? Here are a few items on my list:

Pretty bold title, right? I’d like to think I am a man of integrity, but I have come to realize that if you call me while I am sleeping and ask “did I wake you?” I will lie to your face. I don’t know why I do it. Not only do I say “no, you didn’t wake me,” I try to sound like I was awake all along. I try to rationalize this lie in my mind by thinking “technically no, you didn’t wake me, my ringing phone did.” I don’t have a good explanation for this behavior, but I just wanted to come clean about it.

Fact, I spend anywhere from 5 to 10 hours online, daily. It seems every aspect of my life is affected somehow by the Internet. From electronic gizmos to cars, I shop for everything I need online. Well today I conducted an experiment of sorts. I usually like Pizza Hut pizza best when it comes to delivered food, and the convenience of online ordering just means one less person to talk to and less of a chance of my order being wrong. Well, today I thought I would try something different. After being swayed by Papa John’s 3 Meat Italian Pizza ads, I thought I would order that instead. Now I don’t like Papa John’s at all, but I thought I would give them another try since they spent all that money on their advertisement… but Keely is still hooked on the P’Zone from Pizza Hut. So a competition was born. Which pizza place would bring us our dinners the fastest?

6:59pm I submitted my order on the Papa John’s website: One Large Italian 3-Meat Pizza. The Papa John’s store is 3.4 miles from my house. 6:59pm still, I place the order on the Pizza Hut website: One Pepperoni P’Zone and a single order of Cinna-sticks. Pizza Hut is 3.0 miles from my house. It was probably 20 to 30 seconds between submitting each order. The race was on.

7:35pm the doorbell rings. And the winner is… Papa John’s… but wait, what’s that pulling up in front of my house less than 20 seconds later? None other than the Pizza Hut guy. Considering the 20 or 30 second lapse in time from submitting the orders, it was a dead tie! But now comes the social awkwardness of the two pizza guys meeting face to face. I have a feeling this is what it feels like to get caught cheating. What were they going to say to each other? Would there be a fight? What was going to happen? Here’s what happened, the Pizza Hut guy went up to the Papa John’s guy… and shook his hand. Now I don’t know if he was conceding defeat, or if there is some secret society of pizza delivery guys, but this mysterious act of kindness reminds me that no matter what differences we may have with other people, no matter what we look like on the outside or what side of the tracks we come from, deep down inside… Papa John’s pizza will always suck! I now remember why I stopped ordering from them in the first place. The pizza was so bland. Long live Pizza Hut!

Hit the 30 year mark today. Woohoo!

Keely and I decided to try something new for lunch a couple Sundays ago. Neither of us wanted anything heavy so we thought we would get a sandwich. Initially, we were going to go to Jimmy John’s, but Keely suggested we try Firehouse Subs since we had both never been there. We pulled into the parking lot and I immediately didn’t want to go in because the doors and windows in front were filthy. It looked like somebody used the mayonnaise towel to clean the glass. I had put the car in reverse and got ready to leave, but fortunately Keely calmed me down and we went it. Long story short, I ordered the Turkey Sub and have been there about 6 times in the last two weeks. The food is great, and the front doors and glass have been thoroughly cleaned since that first trip. Firehouse Subs receives the highly coveted Josh’s World Seal of Approval.