Seriously, if I hear the word “green” in reference to the environment one more time, I am going to lose it! The term has reached fad status and it is driving me nuts. I consider myself a reasonably environmentally responsible person, but I am sick of being inundated with green advertising/propaganda/nonsense. Maybe it’s the rising gas prices or the recent Earth Day hoopla, but I am getting fed up. “If every person switched to fluorescent light bulbs, the world would bla bla bla…” Guess what, the “if everybody did this” scenarios are never realistic. And if we could get everybody in the world to do one thing, I can surely come up with some better ideas than changing a light bulb.

One more point while I am on my environment rant: Why are stoplights stupid? If “we’re” so worried about vehicle emissions and energy issues, why doesn’t this topic come up more? If I wasn’t stuck at a red light waiting for it to turn green when there are no other vehicles in sight, I would be using less fuel, emitting less evil C02, and keeping traffic running smoothly (along with all the other millions of drivers out there). It seems there is no problem investing in cameras to watch for folks that run the red lights, but can we not implement an intelligent system that analyzes traffic movement to keep things running practically? To me, that sounds like it would have a larger impact compared to changing a few light bulbs.

Ok, I’m done. Anybody else want to use my soapbox?

Occasionally, I am able to spit out some serious words of wisdom. This happens a lot during my day chats with Mr. Chris Brundage of [insert future website here]. I thought I would share some of these nuggets of wisdom for JoshsWorld.com visitors. So without further ado… excerpts from Josh & Chris (Part I):

Josh: i am not going to shop at old navy anymore, too many people are dressing like me

Chris: if i was an Asian businessman i would be much more successful

Josh: i have a gun, maybe i should be a lawyer

Josh: do you want to start a band?
Chris: i thought you’d never ask
Josh: since it was my idea, you have to buy all the instruments

Josh: you smell like interior architecture and failure

Chris: you playing mafia tonight?
Josh: you know it
Chris: um, this is going to sound gay, but… what are you wearing?
Josh: right now, or tonight?
Chris: tonight
Josh: that’s the “not gay” answer

Josh: i’m no math wizard but my calculator is

Josh: now i know what cher was feeling when she sang “if i could turn back time”

Chris: HEY, we should join a bowling league! chicks love that

Josh: rule #4, no new members can be more attractive than founding members

Josh: i wish they made little black dresses for guys
Chris: that’s the gayest thing i’ve ever heard
Josh: i mean i wish they didn’t

Chris: how about a unicorn
Josh: with a scorpion tail?
Chris: now that’s a tattoo!

Chris: i hate you
Chris: that’s not true, i hate my fat self
Josh: there it is

Josh: the internet is never wrong
Chris: true

Josh: i just had a great idea… fundraisers!
Chris: yes! i love money!

Josh: i need to go to walmart and buy some ammo in a few minutes
Chris: buy me a bowling ball
Josh: you got it

Josh: you’re part eskimo, right?
Chris: 1/132
Chris: which means i’ve seen an eskimo

Josh: we should sing that when we go caroling
Josh: carolling
Josh: carrolling
Chris: carolyingy?
Josh: carolling i think it is
Chris: i think it’s carpooling
Josh: that’s it!

For all those loyal JoshsWorld.com fans that can’t get enough of my awesome photos, I would like to introduce you to my Tumblr account. Most of the photos come from my camera-phone (because it is easy for me to upload a photo if I see something exciting and I don’t have my real camera). But if I do have my real camera, you can still expect to see the new photos in my regular, yet awesome Photo Gallery.

I prefer information/phone calls/stories/jokes/articles etc. to be concise and to the point. My friend/colleague, Dallin, sent me an email and repeated every sentence twice in the spirit of redundancy and humor. Here was my response:

Dallin,

Thank you for sending this email to me that you sent to me. I have updated the information that was needing to be updated with the new information. I also appreciate your redundancy because I like to be redundant in the same way that you are redundant when you are being redundant about something. My methods are slightly different, even though our goal is the same despite the fact that we have different methods that work toward the same goal differently.

Thankfully Thanking You,

Joshua Josh Kryzak

I was on my way to Coppell Middle School West with my twin brother, Jeph. I had to take a six-week make-up course because there was a standardized test that I missed in 8th grade. Apparently these tests are a big deal because even though I am done with all schooling and I am 30, I still need to go back and take this course. I’m not sure why Jeph was taking the course. So my sister-in-law and her husband are driving me and my brother to the school when we gently sideswipe a Camaro from the mid-1990’s. Fortunately we are right outside the school parking lot so we can walk to the campus while the in-laws mess with all the insurance stuff. The guy in the Camaro seems really cool about things. It was kind of weird walking into the school, but the staff greeted us at the door and we started to explain why we were there. The lady that met us at the front was friendly and said two other girls were already checked in for the course. She joked and said “too bad it wasn’t a cooking class because the names of the other students were Fawn and Tina.” I tried to think of a witty comeback but nothing came to mind so I fake laughed while saying “oh really?” The lady explained to us the course would only meet on Wednesdays and it was taught by James Taylor… yes, that James Taylor. I was pretty excited, I thought “hey, I get to meet James Taylor.” Not that I am a fan by any stretch, but it will impress some people. Later I found out that he teaches the class via video and that just wasn’t as cool. Oh well, it’s only James Taylor.

…It’s at this point I woke up, it was 4:30am. Where did all this come from? How did my mind come up with all these weird details? Fawn and Tina? What the heck is that? This was one of those dreams that seemed so real yet I have no idea where these things came from. I didn’t have to get up until 5:15 so I spent the next 45 minutes thinking of that witty comeback.

Ahh 2007, we’ll miss you little buddy. I’d like to take this opportunity to list some of the best and worst of this past year. Here we go.

Best Fruit: Fuji Apple - Why did it take me 30 years to discover this thing? I’ve always been a Red Delicious man, but last year I ventured out in the produce department and boy did it pay off.

Best Dog: Jax - We got our new dog in August and we love him. I was worried that we would get a dog that has issues, but Jax is absolutely perfect! I’ve been labeled by one of my friends as “one of those people that loves their dog too much.” And I take it as a compliment.

Worst Event: The Moth in My Ear - For those of you that don’t know, a moth flew into my ear on Labor Day weekend. I went to the emergency room, but they couldn’t get it out, so they referred me to the ear, nose, and throat doctor (which was closed until the Tuesday after Labor Day). So my ear canal served as the coffin for this bug for a couple days. It was not cool. That’s the short version of that story. If you see me on the street, I’ll tell you the more comprehensive and disgusting version.

Best Restaurant Discovery: Two-way tie… Firehouse Subs and Macaroni & Cheese at The Porch.

Worst Needless Expense: Broken garage door

Best Summertime Activity: Skiing and hanging out on Mohr’s boat - Finally, that friendship is starting to pay dividends (jk buddy!)

Best New Car Purchase (within my circles): Nick’s 2007 Acura TL Type-S - I’m always wanting a newer car, I have to live vicariously through my friends.

Best New Habit: Working out regularly

Worst New Habit: Smoking… jk. Nothing comes to mind.

My Resolution for this year: Try to be better about updating my site.